I just got a septoplasty done on 2-15-13. Holy crap does that surgery hurt like heck! I thought it wasn't going to be a big deal since I recovered so quickly from my c-section ... Hahahahahaha I was in for a big shock! I forgot to factor in all of the nerve endings in my nose, which made the first 24 hours terribly painful. I'm not a huge pain-pill popper, but I couldn't pop those drugs in me fast enough. However, every day since then has been better. Some days I'm more lethargic than in pain, other days its vice versa. But the end result is that I will be able to breath out of both nostrils, so I think the annoyance is worth the price.
One of the things I kept telling myself, and others too, is that I feel like this surgery is going to give me a new lease on life, since I'll have more energy from being able to breath better. So what does that mean? What's this new lease going to look like? So far I've sat on my butt, eaten ice cream, and watched tv.
I'm bored! I'm going to be completely honest, I'm so bored with my life it's not funny. I always wanted to be a SAHM, but now I don't know what to do with my time since my little guy is getting old enough to be more independent. I want to have more kids, and my hubby and I are finally in a place emotionally and financially where we can afford to have another child. But the good Lord hasn't graced us with another child yet, so what do I do with myself in the meantime?
Get a hobby is always a logical answer, but I don't know what I like to do. Growing up all I did was dance and hang out with friends. I have never been terribly crafty. When I got older I couldn't afford to have hobbies, plus I was too busy either working or taking care of an infant. But now that my son is 3, I think it's time to get crafty.
I've heard scrapbook ing is fun. I can't cut a straight line to save my life, but I know they have scissors that are made so a straight isn't required anymore. I have loads of pictures that I don't know what to do with them. Maybe the first thing I'll attempt to do is make a scrap book.
I've always wanted to run a half marathon by the time I turned 30, so after I get the ok from my doctor I can start working out again and get started on that goal. There's a half marathon in my city in August, so I'm hoping ill have enough time to train for it.
I've also always wanted to rock climb. I tried it once in Wales many, many years ago. I didn't like it because I felt so defeated. But at this stage in my life I've overcome so many obstacles that I want to at least wall-rock climb. My local YMCA has a wall that I'm itching to try out.
Plus, I can always volunteer. What a great way for me to spend my time and show my son how important it is to serve others. I just need to figure out how to get started.
So maybe I do have an idea on what this new lease on life is going to look like.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Hello! My name is Sara and I'm addicted to sugar
Food has never been my friend. Let's be honest, food isn't most people's friend, but in my case, we are more like enemies. I have always been on the bigger side of the fence. No, I'm not obese but I'm also not rail thin either. Let's just say I'm described as thick. Fine, here are my stats: age - 29, height - 5'6ish", weight - 180lbs.
I remember always being teased about my weight as a child by both family members and friends. I actually have haunting memories of my dad calling me a fat b!tch which still stays with me - I'm working on that issue. I remember clearly it was the summer before junior high when I decided I wasn't going to be fat anymore, and that was when the eating disorders came into place. I stopped eating, except for a salad at lunch, some ice cream, and a bowl of soup for dinner. For the longest time we rarely had family dinners, so it was really easy for me to lie and tell my dad that I had eaten more than soup for dinner.
Then I developed exercise bulimia, which I honestly didn't know I had until much later in life. I would eat something and then I would instantly have to exercise. I always ended up running to the bathroom shortly after I started working out. I didn't realize this was me subconsciously trying to get the food out of my body as quickly as possible. I just felt the need to exercise as soon as I ate something.
Next stop full on bulimia when I left for England. By then I had stopped starving myself and starting purging. I was so depressed when I started at boarding school for a multitude of reasons that I just kept eating to numb the pain I was feeling. I stopped exercising and I stuffed my stomach with sweets galore. One of my roommates was kind enough to show me how to puke up my food after I ate, which started a bulimic habit that to this day I still have to battle with. I found that I was purging my food at least three times a day, if not more. It was how I coped with the stress of classes and being away from the people who I loved so very much, but pushed away because I didn't know how to cope with being away from them. I remember that is when I really shut down emotionally, and I could control myself through purging. The funny part is that I didn't lose any weight during my time as a bulimic. I did, however, learn that when I became overwhelmed and/or over emotional I could stick something down my throat and throw up all of my pain.
It has been 10 years since I last went on a purging spree. In between that time I also went up and down dramatically in weight. Every day is a challenge for me and dealing with my eating disorders. I have to consciously work on eating when I get too stressed, or I have to keep myself from purging when I've eaten too much. But I do have slip ups. Especially during times where I feel like I have no control over my life. But those times are far and few in between.
Sadly, I never really learned how to eat healthily. I have never been able to walk away from a dessert and not hate myself afterwards for giving in to my addiction to sugar. I haven't been educated about what to eat in order to stay healthy. So I'm on a mission to educate myself on how to eat healthy and practice what I've learned. My goal is to be the healthiest version I can be, and to teach my son how to eat well, too. And what better way to teach him than by leading by example, right?
I remember always being teased about my weight as a child by both family members and friends. I actually have haunting memories of my dad calling me a fat b!tch which still stays with me - I'm working on that issue. I remember clearly it was the summer before junior high when I decided I wasn't going to be fat anymore, and that was when the eating disorders came into place. I stopped eating, except for a salad at lunch, some ice cream, and a bowl of soup for dinner. For the longest time we rarely had family dinners, so it was really easy for me to lie and tell my dad that I had eaten more than soup for dinner.
Then I developed exercise bulimia, which I honestly didn't know I had until much later in life. I would eat something and then I would instantly have to exercise. I always ended up running to the bathroom shortly after I started working out. I didn't realize this was me subconsciously trying to get the food out of my body as quickly as possible. I just felt the need to exercise as soon as I ate something.
Next stop full on bulimia when I left for England. By then I had stopped starving myself and starting purging. I was so depressed when I started at boarding school for a multitude of reasons that I just kept eating to numb the pain I was feeling. I stopped exercising and I stuffed my stomach with sweets galore. One of my roommates was kind enough to show me how to puke up my food after I ate, which started a bulimic habit that to this day I still have to battle with. I found that I was purging my food at least three times a day, if not more. It was how I coped with the stress of classes and being away from the people who I loved so very much, but pushed away because I didn't know how to cope with being away from them. I remember that is when I really shut down emotionally, and I could control myself through purging. The funny part is that I didn't lose any weight during my time as a bulimic. I did, however, learn that when I became overwhelmed and/or over emotional I could stick something down my throat and throw up all of my pain.
It has been 10 years since I last went on a purging spree. In between that time I also went up and down dramatically in weight. Every day is a challenge for me and dealing with my eating disorders. I have to consciously work on eating when I get too stressed, or I have to keep myself from purging when I've eaten too much. But I do have slip ups. Especially during times where I feel like I have no control over my life. But those times are far and few in between.
Sadly, I never really learned how to eat healthily. I have never been able to walk away from a dessert and not hate myself afterwards for giving in to my addiction to sugar. I haven't been educated about what to eat in order to stay healthy. So I'm on a mission to educate myself on how to eat healthy and practice what I've learned. My goal is to be the healthiest version I can be, and to teach my son how to eat well, too. And what better way to teach him than by leading by example, right?
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